Rough cuts

Positives

• The costumes of the band members  - e.g.. dark colours, leather jackets – fits the stereotype of the punk rock genre ( as seen in bands such as Greenday and Kasabian ).
• Some very original shots included – The clinking of the wine glasses where the boy ‘s face is seen in the gap is very telling and makes the viewer empathise with the characters. Also the shot of the girl behind the bar on her own emphasises her isolation.
• Lovely shot of the cyanide being put into the glass – this is a good close up shot which is held for some time showing the importance of this action
• Good use of setting – the pub where the action takes place
• Both band members have been shown playing and singing so the viewer is drawn into the group
• This fits in well with the style of music videos of the punk rock genre where there are shots of the musicians and their instruments

Areas that could be improved

• The camera is a little shaky and leads to some shots being a little rocky
• The balance is weighted to performance shots rather than narrative shots – this makes the story a little hard to understand
• A big drawback is that the second girl who steals the boyfriend is not in the video which again makes the storyline a little tenuous
• Some of the editing needs to have better connections from the scenes 

Positives

• Very good establishing shot to open the music video – sets the scene immediately and we realise that this pub is going to play an important part in the storyline
• Very good shot of the girl staring down at the boyfriend – the scene is set for her future actions
• Very good shot of the boy staring at the poisoned glass – this adds to the tension and shows a sense of foreboding about what is going to happen
• Lovely shot of the top of the champagne glass showing the cyanide dissolving
• Like the shot of the glass rolling to the floor – relates to the boy falling to the floor – connects the two occurrences in our mind
• The girl is singing with real expression and emotion
• Lovely shot of the end of the subway with daylight at the end – connotes to the boy dyeing and going into eternity
• Like the empty shot of the bar – connotes to the empty place in the girl’s heart
• The closing of the door denotes the closing of that chapter of the girl’s life and perhaps the closing of a prison cell door as she is convicted of murder.

Areas that could be improved

• Lip syncing out of time with the visuals at the opening of the scene
• Like the graffiti – gives the video an urban feel – but could the graffiti relate to the storyline of the video?
• Could be a little brighter, some scenes are a bit too dark to see what's going on

• The lip synching is so much better, however the brightness could be improved as some scenes are a bit too dark.